


White Blank Page

by LadyMiddlefinger



Series: Heavy In Your Arms [2]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt, F/M, POV Petyr Baelish, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:28:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29410497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMiddlefinger/pseuds/LadyMiddlefinger
Summary: They stared at each other in silence, Petyr with his cup of coffee in his hands, Sansa with hers fiddling with her coatIt was Sansa whose words broke the awkward silence."I'm so sorry, OK? I have made the mistake of my life and can't tell you how miserable I feel. I just...""You what?" Petyr lost his temper, maybe for the first time ever. His coffee mug hit the floor and shattered into pieces. Sansa winced when it hit the ground.
Relationships: Petyr Baelish & Sansa Stark, Petyr Baelish/Sansa Stark
Series: Heavy In Your Arms [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2160546
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	White Blank Page

**Author's Note:**

> This little thing hid in my notes for quite a while. So I thought, why not just post it, even if it's short and, well, depressing as hell. It's part two of Eyes Closed, I recommend you to read part one to understand the "plot" before continuing with this little fic. It also answers the question if Petyr imagined Sansa being there while he had Ros in his bed or if he really did see her.
> 
> I'm always glad for feedback!

_A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage_  
_You did not think_  
_When you sent me to the brink, to the brink_  
_You desired my attention_  
_But denied my affections, my affections_  
  
_So tell me now, where was my fault_  
_In loving you with my whole heart_  
_Oh, tell me now, where was my fault_  
_In loving you with my whole heart_

_***_

"Was she a good fuck?"

Petyr whipped around. For one fleeting moment he lost his calculated exterior before shaking off the shock of Sansa standing right in front of him, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen. 

"Yeah, she's quite good with her mouth." 

She rolled her eyes, though behind her tough behavior Petyr spotted her hurt and fury. He had her right where he needed her to be.

"How long have you been here?"

"The whole night and the whole morning. I waited in the guest room for the bitch to leave."

"Oh...and why would you do that? Stress in paradise, nowhere else to go?" He smiled at her evily. "Or do you now like spying at other people fucking?" 

"Shut up. I would love to make this unseen but unfortunately I can't." 

"Yeah, you can't." He said blatantly while he filled his cup with the freshly brewed coffee. He then turned around again, looking at her. She was breathtakingly beautiful as always, long, fiery hair tamed into a loose ponytail, no make up, rosy cheeks. He hated his heart for still feeling so much for this woman in front of him. He loved her, he hated her to the guts, but he still loved her. 

They stared at each other in silence, Petyr with his cup of coffee in his hands, Sansa with hers fiddling with her coat 

It was Sansa whose words broke the awkward silence. 

"I'm so sorry, OK? I have made the mistake of my life and can't tell you how miserable I feel. I just..."

"You what?" Petyr lost his temper, maybe for the first time ever. His coffee mug hit the floor and shattered into pieces. Sansa winced when it hit the ground. 

"You think you can crawl back here and tell me how sorry you are? You broke my heart! You ripped it out of my chest and burnt it! Fuck!" He was afraid of his feelings all of a sudden. His heart pounded uncontrollably in his chest while his hands started to shake. He needed to calm down, somehow, right now. 

Sansa looked at him like a deer in the spotlights, unable to even move a finger. She was glued to the place, her mouth slightly open, unable to speak. 

"You...you...have destroyed me. Can't you see it? I'm a fucking wreck all because of you! I loved you with all my heart and did everything in my power to make you happy, give you the world. And what did you do? You left me for that douche, for that...that...boy! And when I finally want to move on, collect what is left of me, you walk in here as if all of this shit never happened."

Petyr took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his nerves. But there was no such chance. Maybe for the first time in a very long time he let his true self take the upper hand. No hiding anymore, no masks. 

"How can you even think that a lousy apology would do any good? Fucking hell, I even pictured you while this beautiful woman sucked me off and fucked me into..."

"Please stop." Sansa's shaky voice stopped him from saying anything more. A single tear traveled down her reddened cheek. "Please."

He breathed heavily, sweaty hands rubbing over his heated face. He waited for his own tears to stream down but nothing happened. He wasn't sure if he had cried them all in the days and weeks after she left.

"I...I possibly can't...I don't know why I'm here." 

"You don't know? You walk in here and don't even know why?" 

"I want you back."

At that, Petyr began to laugh loudly. He laughed with his whole body, heartily. 

Sansa just stood there, irritated of his behavior but still not backing away. 

"You want what? Oh Sansa, don't you know it's too late for that? I belonged to you once but there is no going back. Never again will I let you destroy me." he said after calming himself enough to speak. 

He could tell that she felt like being hit by a bus. For a brief second he felt sorry for her. But then again, it was her who ruined his life after everything he had done for her.

"Petyr, please. I love you, goddammit! I love you so much it hurts! It was all a fucked up mistake, I should never have left you for Harry..."

"Good, I hope it hurts as bad as it hurt when you packed your bags and left. Oh wait, I hope it hurts more than that because that, my dear Sansa, was like being burned alive while thousands and thousands of swords are driven through your body and soul. " 

He felt a cold and grotesque grin build on his face. It felt good, no, it felt fantastic to hurt her too. To show her what words and actions could do. In his twisted mind he even was thankful that she was really there to witness him fucking some other woman. That his heart didn't imagine her being there. It showed him in this emotional state of his that she couldn't let go of him. And, truth be damned, he enjoyed her being hurt by him, being punished. 

"Shit, I don't know why I fucked this up so badly." Sansa was crying in earnest now, tears streaming down her face. "I thought you took me for granted, you being at work at all times, just coming home to sleep with me, buying me beautiful things to keep me calm."

"Are you crazy? I worked nonstop so we could build up our future together, to gain money and influence so we wouldn't ever have to beg for a single thing in our lives. Of course I came home to fuck you because I longed for you, missed you. And I bought all those things for you to apologize for being away so often and to do you something good." The truth left his mouth. He didn't know why he explained himself to her, he just did. 

Her tears never stopped while she seemed to grasp the truth of it all. 

"Oh my God!" she just said, staring down at her feet where the coffee searched its way through the shards. 

"I...I would do anything to fix this. Anything." 

He just looked at her. After some seconds, when he still said nothing, Sansa sniffed and started to peel off her coat. 

"Sansa, what..." 

She ignored him, letting the coat fall to the ground. She then pulled her sweater over her head, throwing it on the ground too.

All the while, Petyr stood there, unable to speak, unable to move. 

Her boots, socks and trousers followed, then her bra and panties. When she was done, she looked him in the eyes. 

"I'm bare before you. Do what you want with me. Claim me, hurt me, send me away. I don't care. All I care about is you."

She took a few steps into his direction, stepping at the broken mug and through the coffee. She didn't care that the shards tore into her feet, drawing blood. 

Petyr was still glued to the place when she reached him. Her teary eyes bore right into his soul. 

"When words fail, actions speak. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am, so I have to prove it to you. I'm all yours, ever have been, ever will." She didn't even stop the fresh tears, only looked at him. 

When he still remained soundless, she got to her knees in front of him. 

Petyr couldn't deny what her current state did to him. She looked up at him, not even trying to hide her emotions. She really was bare in front of him. 

Her shaking hands pulled down his pants, then his briefs. 

Petyr closed his eyes. He damned himself in this moment. He didn't want to respond to her actions but he did. She was on her knees for him, giving herself to him. 

When her hands reached for his cock, he stopped her with shaking hands.

"Please don't", he whispered and helped her to get up. 

Sansa started to sob immediately, crying heavy tears which streamed down her reddened cheeks. 

Petyr did the only thing that felt right in this moment, he hugged her tightly, inhaling her scent, the scent which made his heart ache. 

Gone was his anger, his hurt, all those pent up feelings for revenge. His arms tightened around her while she cried into his chest, holding on to him for dear life. 

He didn't know how much time passed while they were standing in the kitchen, naked, stripped off all their masks, bare in front of each other, in the middle of everything that got broken on the way.


End file.
